clarity
Whom have I in heaven but you? and there is none I desire on the earth besides you. My flesh and my heart fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. -Psalm 73:25-26
Everything seems so foggy to me. My flesh and my heart are failing me in so many ways, but God is the strength of my heart. He's the only One that can hold it/me together. He is my portion forever.
Portion: a fixed task, a stated allowance, a firm covenant (Vine's dictionary of Old Testament words)
So if I can substitute/interpret the way I'd like here, David was saying, God is my paycheck. God is my stated allowance, he is my task or purpose, he's the covenant that lasts forever. How perfect a word to hear from him tonight. Only He knows how much I needed to read those words, although CJ has an idea. My heart felt so weak today, so consumed by analytical thoughts and serious heavy burdens. Right before I read these words, I was telling CJ how I feel like I'm not contributing to society because I'm dependent on the government for unemployment benefits. The "stated allowance" I receive is from a very large, corrupt hand -- not where I'd like it to come from. But in David's words, I find what CJ's been saying all along. It's not a job, or a paycheck or a career where I need to look for that purpose. It comes simply and specifically from knowing God. He is my stated allowance that will never run dry, that doesn't need proof I'm searching for dependence elsewhere, that doesn't run up someone else's bill. With unemployment you gotta play your cards right, a parttime crappy job could be worse than continued dependence. With God, there are no games. He's my firm covenant, as valid as if the king put his signet ring seal on it. There is purpose that comes in a task. The words here say that no job, no volunteering, no time and effort into anything will suffice. He is my fixed task; the project that never ends ... oh how sweet these words are to my soul.
Thank you my Jesus for always being exactly who I need you to be. Please let me be who you want me to be. Amen.
Everything seems so foggy to me. My flesh and my heart are failing me in so many ways, but God is the strength of my heart. He's the only One that can hold it/me together. He is my portion forever.
Portion: a fixed task, a stated allowance, a firm covenant (Vine's dictionary of Old Testament words)
So if I can substitute/interpret the way I'd like here, David was saying, God is my paycheck. God is my stated allowance, he is my task or purpose, he's the covenant that lasts forever. How perfect a word to hear from him tonight. Only He knows how much I needed to read those words, although CJ has an idea. My heart felt so weak today, so consumed by analytical thoughts and serious heavy burdens. Right before I read these words, I was telling CJ how I feel like I'm not contributing to society because I'm dependent on the government for unemployment benefits. The "stated allowance" I receive is from a very large, corrupt hand -- not where I'd like it to come from. But in David's words, I find what CJ's been saying all along. It's not a job, or a paycheck or a career where I need to look for that purpose. It comes simply and specifically from knowing God. He is my stated allowance that will never run dry, that doesn't need proof I'm searching for dependence elsewhere, that doesn't run up someone else's bill. With unemployment you gotta play your cards right, a parttime crappy job could be worse than continued dependence. With God, there are no games. He's my firm covenant, as valid as if the king put his signet ring seal on it. There is purpose that comes in a task. The words here say that no job, no volunteering, no time and effort into anything will suffice. He is my fixed task; the project that never ends ... oh how sweet these words are to my soul.
Thank you my Jesus for always being exactly who I need you to be. Please let me be who you want me to be. Amen.
posted by go2016 at 7:49 PM
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